Military Tribunal Convicts Paul Pelosi
“Mr. Pelosi, it would appear you are a prodigious child molester,” Gen. Berger said. “I must admit I’m in a unique situation here, as it’s been my understanding the defendants brought before this tribunal usually stand accused of treason, with other crimes secondary. But you, Mr. Pelosi, are here because state courts refused to prosecute you, even when shown concrete proof of your crimes.”
Disheveled and discombobulated, Pelosi told the tribunal he had never had sex with minors.
Pelosi, who had until that moment remained silent, blurted, “I’m a broken 82-year-old man. What can you do to me? Kill me? I’m dead already. Dead inside. You want to know if I touched kids. Yeah, I touched them. What the fuck would you do if you were married to a fucking witch for 60 years? I touched them, a lot of them, but there was never sex.”
Owing to Pelosi’s admission of guilt, Gen. Berger asked the panel to deliver a verdict without having introduced even a single witness. The panel rejected the death penalty, but decreed that Pelosi spend his remaining years as a permanent houseguest at Guantanamo Bay’s Camp Delta detention block.
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From Deep Underground at Missile Command ...Headhunter20 