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Every movie star who ever promised to leave America if Trump gets elected is complaining about people having to leave America now that Trump’s been elected.


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Anonymous sources just said that their anonymous sources were told by anonymous sources that nobody should believe that the mainstream media has anonymous sources. Remember, you saw here, first.


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Barack and Michelle Obama have signed a sixty million dollar His-and-Hers book advance deal with Random House. The Democrats were at a loss for words when they heard the news. Even the Obamas are doing better under President Trump.


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IN what has been hailed as ‘a miracle’, one Buckhead teenager has reportedly survived in his home with no connection to the internet for almost 6 whole hours.

Answering to the name ‘David Burton”, the 16-year-old was found in a distressed state yesterday evening, walking through a Buckhead neighborhood holding his Samsung Galaxy above his head looking for a signal and muttering incoherently.

The emergency services were notified and David was brought to a nearby Starbucks and hooked up to their Wi-Fi immediately. It remains unclear as to how the teen was left without internet for such a long period of time, and a search has begun to find David’s parents, with fears that they may have other kids without even a single bar of coverage.


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I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn’t what they had in mind.


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