hope and change, small business saturday, obama jokes, stilton jarlsberg, teleprompter

It seems like we’ve barely stopped producing turkey-scented burps, and already the next big holiday season is upon us! Yes, Kwanzaa is nearly here, and Barack Hussein Obama took time out from raising taxes on small businesses and forcing them to lay off employees to go shopping on “Small Business Saturday.” 

The president visited a small independent bookstore where he posed for photos and then quickly purchased 15 children’s books – the titles of which had been 
previously programmed into his Blackberry (no, really). The children’s books will be given out as gifts, presumably to constituents who have mastered the instructions for their Obamaphones and are ready to move on to more challenging reading material.

According to the Whitehouse website, 
“It’s great to find the perfect gift from a small business. Often, when you carry it to the counter, you can see the business owner’s eyes light up. They tell a story about how that gift was made. Or where it came from. Or how it’s a one-of-a-kind. And the gift immediately becomes even more meaningful and special. Moments like that are what makes the holidays magical.”

Um, no. Buying things doesn’t make the holidays magical, no matter how much the president confuses commerce and magic. In reality, the business owner’s eyes probably aren’t lighting up, they’re simply brimming with tears over finally making one last miserable sale in the final days of his shop’s existence in this wretched Obamaconomy.

Of course, there will be other moments making the holidays magical – like when Bob Cratchett has his work week cut down to 29-hours (with a cut in salary and coal to match) so that Ebenezer Scrooge won’t be  fined by this “small business supporting” president for failure to provide expensive healthcare to the ever-sickly Tiny Tim. But for now, let’s forget about that little dickens (see what we did there?) because experts predict that as many as 800,000 otherBob Cratchett types will be completely losing their jobs owing to Obamacare