From Deep Underground at Missile Command …Headhunter20

SHOCK REPORT: US HASN’T SEEN EXPECTED ‘GREAT RECOVERY’…
‘It’s not even normal growth. It’s bad’…

In the growing shadow of the IRS “War on Conservatives” scandal, the Obama administration has just confirmed our worst nightmares by proudly announcing that there really will be a political component to your IRS-administered healthcare.

Specifically, Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen “Shakedown Money“ Sibelius says that Obamacare will be putting a “special focus on the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered community because for too long (they) were pushed out of the way.” Which means that if you’re not a member of that community, then it’s time that you were pushed out of the way for awhile.

Secretary Sibelius says that the LGBT community will be getting some benefits specific to their needs, including help with smoking – which LGBT folks apparently do more of than straight folks (although we don’t know if that’s only after sex).

Interestingly, this isn’t the first time smoking has been mentioned with regard to Obamacare recently – because in some cases smokers can be charged up to 50% more for their health insurance under the new rules. Unless, we suppose, those smokers argue that they were “born that way” rather than making the choice to light up. 

Frankly, as much as Hope n’ Change doesn’t like the idea of sexual identity being used to assign favored or unfavored status in healthcare, we’re not overly worried about it. After all,everyone’s healthcare is going down the toilet as soon as Obamacare is fully implemented.

But just to keep the odds on our side, in the event of a heart attack we plan to be wearing women’s underwear and a medical alert bracelet which says “trapped in a man’s body.”

Mother Tells Of Almost Aborting Cher

NEW YORK (BHN) –  Appearing on the Lifetime show called Dear Mom, Love Cher, the famous singer’s mother confessed that she came within minutes of aborting her now-famous daughter.

Georgia Holt was 20 and recently separated from her husband when she found herself pregnant with Cher. She opted for an abortion, but while sitting in the waiting room waiting to have the procedure came to the realization she couldn’t go through with it. The 86-year-old Holt described living with the decision since that fateful day.

“Yeah, all my dreams came true – I produced a Godless slut who blessed me with a bearded 300 pound granddaughter with a d*ck.”

Sources say Planned Parenthood has expressed interest in using the story for promotional purposes.

Chastity …. errr CHAZ Bono. Daughter/Son of Sonny and Cher Bono.