Planned Parenthood Celebrates Record Number Of Abortions

Planned Parenthood celebrated its best year ever after its latest annual report showed the government funded organization performed over a third of a million abortions in 2011 to 2012.

“We’re really jacked,” said one Planned Parenthood executive. “In three years we killed almost a million kids, er, I mean blobs.”

Responding to criticism by conservatives upset with the wholesale slaughter and the accompanying record level of taxpayer funding that fueled it, a Planned Parenthood spokesperson downplayed the numbers, saying, “It’s not as bad as it sounds – most of the fetuses were black and Hispanic.”